by Donna L. Watkins

Many years back when my body was walking around with fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue (at that point in my life, it was laying around more than walking :-), I began to think about my walk with Jesus. I was overcome with guilt and condemnation from my own mind that I had nothing to offer Jesus. My body would no longer perform 18-hour "get it all done now days" and I felt of little use to my family or God.

By the way, the book that set me free from fibromyalgia was "A More Excellent Way." [http://www.theherbsplace.com/excellent.html] The principles about which emotions are linked to which diseases helped me to get free of fibromyalgia and other health problems I've had.

I wasn't raised being pushed to succeed and excel so where did this self-imposed "driven" lifestyle come from? My grandparents raised me in Pennsylvania Dutch country so I grew up with a slower pace than many. My grandmother was a housewife and my grandfather worked at the steel foundry. He worked hard, but knew how to play. We played board games and cards often and he taught me how to ride a bike and how to drive a car. We had playground time where he'd push me high on the swings, long country drives on Sundays, and plenty of time just sitting outside talking to whoever walked by.

Just sitting....isn't that a lost art? Sitting with our own thoughts to process the day, conversation, fresh air, and the wonder of a night sky that still had stars you could see. Sitting is now done in front of the television receiving so many things into your mind that you would never allow in your home....or with music and words you wouldn't allow in a conversation.... or we sit to read the bad news of the world in the paper and then walk around with fear of what might happen.

Isaiah 33:15-16 says, "He that ..... stoppeth his ears from hearing of blood, and shutteth his eyes from seeing evil; he shall dwell on high: his place of defence shall be the munitions of rocks: bread shall be given him; his waters shall be sure." Does our fear come from the evil we watch and listen to? How much money do we spend on things bought out of fear? We buy for fear of rejection: clothes, cosmetics, nails, more shoes than we'll wear out in a lifetime, colognes, and plastic surgery for some.

Remember when colors didn't have to match in every room? People were invited into your home at a moment's notice, even if you didn't have your makeup on, even if there were dirty dishes in the sink and dirt on the floor - nobody seemed to notice until the Mr. Clean commercials hit the television. The reality is you live in your house. There will be dirty dishes and floors. Why do we try to portray the featured house in a decorating magazine? Nobody keeps a perfectly clean house unless their giving up a good part of their life for it and the cost is too great to sacrifice our lives and children in the process.

What a contrast to the lifestyle that I came from, to the time I left home and moved to Atlanta. I had a full-time and one or two part-time jobs.

Seems the more money you make the more obligated you feel to spend more, so credit card debt became part of my life along with a car payment. I slid right into the World of MORE. A few years later I became a Christian and wanted to follow Jesus' steps. The church had a long list of what God expected out of me and that fit right into my mentality of doing more. I enjoyed it! I liked the feeling of having been Super Woman for the day - the month - the year! Until the year of 1986 when both of my grandparents that raised me had died in less than six months, I had begun home schooling my ADHD child, had started a home business and ran a natural food co-op besides my involvement with all the church activities. That was the year my body said, ENOUGH!

So, there I lay on the couch pondering Jesus' steps as I pictured Him walking away from me while I laid still barely able to lift my own arm, much less follow Him. I read "Footprints in the Sand" many times picturing Jesus carrying me through this period of my life, but I still couldn't see life outside of accomplishment - outside of doing. I had no comprehension of BEING.

That's when God began to show me that He created us to BE, not to DO. I wrote an article for this ezine years back about that: Life is in the Being, Not in the Doing

Continue to Part 2 of "Walking Like Jesus"